Protection is no justification

That hollow feeling.  I am empty inside because of what I have done and didn´t say.

I gave all the right signs at the start, made all the right moves.  I had such power and grace.

ALL brought down to earth by true cowardly responses to uncertain situations.

He who is so well travelled – so world aware, so vast, so adaptable……Is afraid of uncertainty.

Bullshit spews forth – hypnotising like a whirlwind – giving dreams, futures, moments, hopes – then like a ticking time bomb, the dreams given, the faith and hope will be obliterated once again.

It seems so easy to do before and so cryptically simple after.

Yet at the time, in the moment, nothing comes harder to say than those three little words…

I loved another.

If I screw myself out of a fuck who feels it?

I don´t get any but move on    I can always move on.  It´s free and i´m cheap.

Yet the other participant – If I am the fucker she has been fucked.

She once believed and now she doesn´t.  Reaction to follow action.

~ by emjayteef on April 18, 2007.