Monologue – with bad language

I love to fuck.  I fuck and fuck.  I am an intelligent animal -  and that’s the problem.  A living ontological dualism.  I am intelligent yet I am animal.

I love to fuck and I love to get fucked.  I love to use and I love to be used.  I feel love when I am fucked and used. Animal.

I rationalise on occasion.  I also bite when a moment strikes me.  I can be logical and fair but also selfish and cruel.  I am an ontological dualism my life is torn.

If I fuck I miss the love and if I love I miss the fuck.  Solutions?  Don`t make me laugh. 2 girls – 2 lives – That comes nowhere close.  I have emotions!!!!

I feel inside – fucking will lose my soul; it spreads me too thin.  too many women, too many fears.

I need to be loved but I show it by the fuck – an expressive fuck.  Physical obsession is my affliction – affirmation through mutual masturbation; my comfort in the hands of another.

But the end?        the exit?

Will my fucking fuck me up?

I`m fucking tabloid but talk broadsheet.  I`m fucking a playboy which is read for the journalism.  I`m pure pleasure – avoiding complications.  I`m Alton Towers without the long drive, I`m 6 beers without a hangover, I`m Steven Hawking in space.  I am, in a work; unreal.

I move countries to hide from conflict.  I don`t even know if I want to change.  My dad cheats on my Mum – my first thought?    Any guesses?     I can now justify my behaviour by blaming him.   I am American.  I have no shame.

How can you be 24 with 30 noches on the bedpost……….

~ by emjayteef on May 8, 2007.